Last night, I watched the film ‘The Five People You Meet In Heaven’ after reading the book last month. It was the perfect novel to take with me during my BART commute–until I reached the ending of the book and ended up in tears on a crowded train. The movie made me cry for about an hour.
I’m not a huge fan of realistic novels and this book started off a little dark and depressing, reminding me of how bleak people’s lives can really become. It didn’t take long for me to sink into the story and pretty soon, it had a pretty tight grip on me. I couldn’t relate much to the main character’s life story–he was an old man who couldn’t past through the hurdles of memory that he accumulated from a war. He couldn’t pluck himself out of his life situation and dwindled in his despair. On one hand, I have deep sympathy for people who find themselves in these deep pitholds; at the same time, I’ve become such a believer in taking control of your own fate, that I find myself wallowing in apathy, as I observe it.
Eddie, the main character, dies early in the book and this itself is a profound teaching. Any of us can just die, disappear from this world any minute now–but we all plan our lives as if we are going to live as old as our 80-year-old grandmother. Death is so real and it happens every second but to the still living, it’s an event that’s so far removed and too frightening to become intimate with. The story made me remember how scared I am of dying and of the loved ones in my life dying. I’m scared of dying in pain and fear; I’m scared of my family dying in pain and sadness. I don’t want anyone to die, sad, hurt and lonely, but it happens. My fears doesn’t seem to have reflected my experiences, however: I’ve had several close friends and family vanish from my life very suddenly–and for some reason I’ve never felt a lot of grief or sadness. I’ve felt like they are still around but just in another form–and I guess it’s true. Death is just a passing of the spirit from body to the heavens, their love and memory will always remain with those on Earth. Maybe this lack of grief is not a sign that I am ungodly or unloving; but simply that maybe I can cope with death a lot better than I think I can.
I like the idea that after passing over, you get the chance to resolve the kinks and knots of life. I can only imagine that a small handful of people pass to heaven, with a clear and enlightened understanding of their life and its meaning. I assume many people die, unclear about their life on Earth, with anger, sadness, pain. It is assuring to think that for many spirits, passing over is a journey towards understanding and complete acceptance.
